I Wonder …

A lot of folks have a couple of blogs.  One they make public and present to the world.  One they keep private and use as … well, a journal.

I wonder if using this space as a journal … for as long as I have Internet access, at least … would be cathartic?

No one reads this blog anymore, I’m sure.  It’s been a year or so since I last posted here … who would?

I could safely puke here and no one would find it.  Most of the people reading my main blog don’t even know about this one, and it’d be easy enough to remove any links to the main one and start segregating them.

I could always start a new one altogether and delete this one.  Why not?  They’re free right?

I wonder.

-JDT-

Yeah, I Know ...

... I said I was shutting this one down. I am. Really.

But this cool new template was enough to make me wanna play with it. So, I sort of like it and now I'm wondering if I'll keep it. I don't know what I'll do with it, but still ... hmm.

On the other hand, you can still see what I'm up to (and it ain't much) over at my main blog.

God bless, y'all.

Yes, it's still shut down. For now, anyway.

Update-ish Things

Okay, first off: I have to tell you, those of you that played the Flash-Fiction 2-paragraph game did an outstanding job!  Am-AZING work, y'all!  Thanks for playing!  And if you had fun, the LOML has a site just for this kind of thing.  She wants it to be a fun, creative place for writers to go when they need to loosen their writing muscles, slap their muse around, or just take a break from their projects.  That site is:

The Writers Nesst

She's going to work hard to make it fun, so stop by and get involved.  Tell people about it, too; if you know writers that aren't hanging around in other places and doing those sorts of things, let 'em know they're welcome and can come by.  They can make suggestions, too, if they have a favorite game or a good idea they want to share.  All are welcome, so spread the word!

Again, thanks for taking the time to play, everyone.  I'm going to repost what we've got so far and then, if anyone is still interested, they can add two more paragraphs to it in the comments section of the new post.  The old post will be closed to comments, but I'll add an update link to the new post.

If you didn't get a chance to play, don't worry -- like I said, it's still open, and of course, the Writers Nesst will be available too.  Make your presence known!

Now, as for me -- I've no more software to review.  I really don't.  Most of what I have to say about software has been said, but if you guys know about a cool piece of freeware that you want to find out about, let me know.  I'll check into it for as long as I have the Internet.  Drop me an email, or leave me a comment here.

I've added a contact block to my ever-growing sidebar with a new email address.  Reach me there if the mood strikes you.

My precious wife and I are still hacking through the edits of Ghost Hunters.  Most nights we do one or two chapters, but we've got a ways to go yet.  I think we just finished Chapter 29, so ... only 17 left to go.  Some of the chapters need more ... help, let's say ... than others, so it's hard to do a set number of chapters per day.  We try to do at least two, but lately, we haven't gotten more than just one.  Ahem.  That's a testament to my poor post-writing editing skills, unfortunately, but it's coming along.  When it's finished, it's going to be time to start putting query letters together.  Sherri, if you're still willing to critique and assist with the rest of the process, I'd be very grateful; but if not, that's cool, I know you've got your own stuff hap'ning.  Just let me know.  :)  Like I said, I'm not there yet, but it's coming.

While we're on the topic, I'll need critics and beta readers for the new, updated version.  Raga?  Interested?  Bryce, do you have time or interest?  Anyone?  I'll be looking for help with it soon.

Of course,  Witch Hunt isn't going as well as I wanted.  It's a harder story to write from the get-go.  There's a lot of plotting I have to do, and outlining isn't taking the priority it should.  Bryce's Text Tree program has been a Godsend though; if you're an outliner and haven't tried, it I recommend it.  Highly.

The good news is, I have some idea where the story's going for the immediate future.  I can probably (!) pen more of it before the end of the week.  Now, I've made that promise before, and you all see how it turns out, so I'm not saying I will pen more by the end of the week.  But I have a little path to walk before I run out of rope.

That's for those of you that care about Witch Hunt, of course.  All three of you.  :)

As for our personal situation -- nothing's changed.  Nothing.  We sure can use all the prayers and PPT you can spare us.  Please know we love and appreciate you all, and thank you for your support in our hard time.  It means more than we can say.

God bless, everyone.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: random thoughts,blogging,life,writing

Still Not Much to Say ...

I still got nothin'. But I'm workin' on changing that.

I'm going to write something ... tonight. It will be up tomorrow. Shame on you if you don't follow your blogs over the weekend. What're you, a person? What, you think you gotta life or somethin'? Sheesh.

I may just do some flash fiction to warm up. How about a game? A two-paragraph game. I'll write two paragraphs. You follow in the comments with two more of your own. We'll see how many takers we have by Monday morning. I'll post the full story by Monday evening. Wanna play?

This is the sort of thing we'll do over at the Writer's Nesst when it's up and functional. LOML tells me it'll be soon, but she says we're gonna be rich and thin too. That magical "someday" never seems to arrive, does it?

Anyway, I'll have something for you. I promise. Something.

God bless, and keep praying for us, you all. We need it. We're praying for you too, just so you know. :)

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: blogging, life, random thoughts, writing

Ever Have One of Those Blogs ... ?

Yeah.  This is one of those entries.  You know, the ones where the author clearly has nothing, whatever, to say, but goes ahead and posts anyway.

I got nothin'.

I should be writing ... or maybe editing ... but I'm not doing either.  I should be relaxed and taking advantage of this time I have while I have it, because I'll regret it later when I don't have it anymore.  I just can't.  I don't have the drive, the creative flow.  There's not much going on in my head.  I can't do anything except sit and think about my personal crap.

I want to do something, but I've got nothing.

I'm more than halfway through the edits of Ghost Hunters now.  I believe they're going well; I think it's a much stronger piece now than it was before we started.  My wonderful wife has done a phenomenal job pointing out the areas of weakness and helping me get it up to snuff.  But we've done nothing for several days now, and it's my fault.  She's offered to work on it, and I just ... ain't there.

Witch Hunt is going stale right before my eyes.  I have a few more chapters plotted out but I've not written a word.  I don't know why.  Worry has a tendency to kill your creativity.  I do a lot of that lately.

So, I figured I'd write something else.  I haven't.  Maybe it'll happen sometime soon.  Goodness knows, I need that bright spot, that release in my life.  Hopefully the throes of this agony will ease over the weekend so I can get something down.  I feel like a completely useless lump right now.  And I hate that.

Toldja it'd be one of those posts.

Anyone have any interesting software I can review?

Thanks to all our constant supporters for your constant support.  We love you and appreciate you.  Happy Valentines day to all the happy couples out there.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: blogging,life,work,writing,random thoughts

Software Review - ScribeFire

Well … I was going to give you an indepth look at ScribeFire, which is a browser plug-in blogging client for FireFox. I know a lot of you are using FireFox for your browser, and it starts becoming everything a blogger, researcher and general ‘Net junkie needs when you extend it with the add-ons available to it. (Get them here.)

ScribeFire turns your browser window into a split-screen blogging client. This is really great and it’s very easy to set up. It allows you to control what’s visible in a left-hand sidebar and shows you publishing options for your blog of choice in the right-hand sidebar. When you’ve selected your publishing options (like Technorati tags and TrackBack URLs), the options can be closed, restoring the right sidebar to the default tabbed layout. This allows addition of blog accounts, displays the tags for each blog account, the posts that ScribeFire finds for it (not exhaustive), the pages for the blog if any, and has a Notes tab.

A word of caution here: The Notes feature isn’t what it would appear to be! I found out the hard and painful way, selecting a note will populate your editor window with the note’s contents, replacing whatever you’ve typed into the editor. I lost a loooooooong, well-researched and fully image-enhanced post before the one you’re reading now (it was my original review of SF) by trying out the notes feature on the fly. You can, however, save your editor screen data as a note (it will allow formatted or plain text), but I don’t know about images. And I’m not willing to experiment again, sorry. Once bitten …

Anyway, ScribeFire does a lot of neat things. It’s a pretty well-featured editor, and adding blogs is pretty straight-forward too. That’s nice. Since it’s browser-based, it’s truly cross-platform (at least, it appears to be; there is no “Windows” or “Mac” or “Linux” segregation in the installation from FireFox’s add-on site). As you can see from the link in the sentence prior, it makes links easily enough. It may look a bit odd, sitting in your browser screen taking up about half of it (a bit more in my case), but you can have it consume either the top- or bottom half, to suit your preference.

Its image-handling capabilities leave a lot to be desired. I can insert images fine, but there are no settings to control where on the page it sits, the white space around it, whether the text wraps it or not, etc. My beloved WLW still sets the unattainable standard for this feature, in my estimation, despite the claims by several other blog clients that they are as good. For blogging in text, ScribeFire seems to be strong enough. Just type and go.

I didn’t notice a performance hit by installing it. Since it’s a browser plug-in and not a full-blown installation of software, it only requires a restart of FireFox to get it going. The screen is straight-forward and easy to use. But SF really shines when it comes to blogging about an interesting site or article online. A right-click on the page of interest and a context menu will pop-up allowing your to import the text into SF. You then edit to get to your point, and publish. This is especially intriguing to people like LOML, who loves to surf the ‘Net and is occasionally interested in talking about what she’s found in her blog. News hounds will probably love it too; you can blog right there on the site without having to navigate away, either to a separate blogging client or to your blog service’s editor. That’s a boon for a lot of folks.

But, losing all my work because I selected a note in the Notes tab gave me pause. It also ticked me off no end; I’d invested probably an hour or more in writing my initial review, and had mostly good things to say. That incident showed a major weakness in the software (it’s not really a notepad as the name implies if it’s not usable apart from the editor), and gives me something negative (very negative) to point out. I’m sorry to do that, ScribeFire, but if you’re going to provide a place for notes they should be separate and distinct from the main entry. Provide a cut/paste feature to move information from notes to posts. That’d make the feature usable and, in my opinion, better. And for Pete’s sake, please put some sort of warning about the text in the editing window being replaced by the note BEFORE it happens to another unsuspecting blogger.

Overall, I like the speed and portability of ScribeFire. I think being able to blog on the fly about a site while you’re on it is a great feature. I think the flexibility of having it built into your browser is a nice idea, even if it’s not my cup of tea. It’s never going to be as cool and feature-rich as Windows Live Writer, but what is? (WLW is one that Microsoft got RIGHT.) If you can’t use WLW, or you want to be right on the web page you’re blogging about, or your system is sluggish and doesn’t handle big GUI-based programs too well, ScribeFire might be a very viable alternative for you. It’s plenty strong and capable.

Something from my perspective; my wife had a different one. Check both and decide for yourself.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: software,reviews,blogging

Couple of Things (Random)

Boy, I tell ya -- folks sure like reading what other people think about software.  My blog receives a fair number of hits based on people searching out reviews about some software or other.  Hopefully, the few things I've jotted down here have been helpful to them in making their decision.  I try to stick to reviews of software that's specifically for writing and the writing process, because I want to be a writer if I grow up.  But, I'm not opposed to doing other types of software reviews, either.

What kind of software interests you most?  What kind of reviews do you like to see?  I made at least one friend through a review of Windows Live Writer.  You never know what's going to bring people together.  What do you want to see reviewed?  It'd have to be something I can either download a free demo of or freeware, of course, but if you have any requests, let me know.  I'm okay with doing them.

On a different note, I didn't do squat today with either editing or writing.  That's bad.  I hope to have something for you before Monday next week in terms of new fiction, and if God is willing, I'll get back on a regular posting schedule with that.  If I get enough requests for it, maybe the software reviews will be a weekly feature I can do.  If there's enough software to warrant it, of course.

Other than that, nothing new is happening.  Still dealing with our crappy, scary situation, and I'm still calling for all the prayers and PPT things you can throw our way.  Thank you one and all for all your wonderful support, for sticking by us, for being friends and loving people.  We adore you.  I hope you know that.

I'm off to try and get something accomplished.  Maybe sleep. Woo!

God bless, all.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: random thoughts, life, work, software, reviews, writing

The Dream Job

I found a blog today on WP which I found extremely interesting.  I didn't find it interesting for its content, because it was basically a log of someone's snacking habits, but I did like what she did for a living.

She was an editorial assistant and writer, working from home.

She occasionally had to go into the office, I'm sure, but she did most of her work from home.  She had time to get up, work out, blog like heck, and write.  She did her work.  She lives in New York, and because she's an editorial assistant, the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time was click away from her blog.  I wanted so bad to blogroll it, put it in the "Writer's Resources" listing I have in my sidebar, leave her a comment and ask her to check out my work ... I wanted to so bad.

In the end, I just ... clicked away.  I found someone online that has my dream job, that could have provided me (maybe, not that she could or would, but maybe) with a contact in the industry I'm trying desperately to get into (i.e., give me a short path to fame, fortune and laziness), or at least might have pointed me to someone she knows that could/would.  Instead, I clicked away, because, in part, I felt it was not my place to try and leverage that; she doesn't know me from Adam, and probably knows him better; her blog wasn't about writing and the industry or the craft; and I wouldn't like it if someone tried to leverage me without knowing me.  I clicked away.

Immediately, I regretted it.  I went as fast and my mouse would go back to the Dashboard where I'd seen the entry in the first place.  I frantically searched for her blog again, struggling to remember what it was called ...

Nothing.  Gone.  Poof.  I blew it.

I don't regret too much not bugging her, but I do regret not at least dropping a quick note to someone that does what I want to do, who has found a way to make a living writing from home.  I'd love to do it, and if she by chance finds this blog somehow (fat chance of that), then ... feel free to drop me a line.  Say hey.  Tell me how you did it.  Tell me what I could do to do it too.

*Sigh.*

Regrets ... I has dem.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: writing, blogging, random thoughts, work

Work Habits in Writing and Editing

I discovered something last night that I didn't realize before.  I don't have as much editing work to do as I thought I did on my manuscript.

The punch came while I was reviewing the book Novelists Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes by Raymond Obstfeld.  He's a prolific writer (claiming 35 novels) and a teacher at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, CA.  I read the last chapter of that book last night, and shut my eyes to give thanks.

I did all of the things that he recommends doing, saving the easiest step -- streamlining the narrative and descriptive passages for maximum effect -- for last.

Until last night, I was despairing of the amount of work left to do.  I wondered if I'd ever do it, or if I'd ever want to do it.  After reading that, I think I finally do.  I think I want to edit my manuscript, to cut it to shreds and strengthen it.  I haven't addressed any dialog; I've told all of you that, and why.  But I've edited the first six chapters.  It's 47 chapters long, and that's a bit daunting, but I think I finally have the enthusiasm for it to get as much done as I can.

There are other matters more pressing still, but when I do have free time, I think editing my manuscript is going to be something I truly enjoy.  Seeing it come to fruition is once again possible, and I don't have the vaunting tasks ahead of me I thought I did.  I have the blogosphere to thank for that, believe it or not.

Publishing the novel in blog format first forced me to write in sections, and to edit and clean-up each section, to demand of it its purpose in the whole.  I was able to have a brilliant beta reader go over it before you ever laid eyes on it.  I had the benefit of a proofreader that kept me inline.  I had someone help me make decisions on whether one version or another made the story work best.  I had a lot of help getting here, and quite accidentally, I am now doing the easiest part to finalize the document.

That's quite a relief.  It's a bit of joy, actually.  And I'm going to push forward doing it.  If I can do three or four chapters a night, it won't take all that long to finalize it.  Hopefully I can do more, but I'm not going to get too ambitious.  I will say, however, there is less work to do in the later chapters than in the first three.  The last three were far easier to do, require far less cutting and trimming, and if the subsequent chapters are like that one, it should be a piece o' cake ... mostly.

Just thought I'd share.  I hope you're all doing well.  God bless.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: writing, blogging, random thoughts

Status Update

I'm sorry I disappeared on you, blogosphere.  I really am.

I can't promise every day updates the way I've been doing them.  I can't promise I'll get new fiction up for you anytime soon (so please enjoy the existing stuff as much as you'd like while it's here), and I don't know what fate holds for us in the near future.  We have a situation, some of you are aware of it, and there's nothing on the horizon in that regard.  Updates on that as events warrant.

But in other news, I've edited 6 chapters of Ghost Hunters.  I've posted them on my deviantART page but not here, yet.  I've gotten a positive response on them so far, but ... I'm not really able to move forward.  I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt having that be a top priority right now.  Sorry.  Maybe I'll update the first six parts with their new iterations, but I can't say when.  And, because I'm in the middle of editing THAT document, I don't really have time to write anything on the OTHER document I have going, Witch Hunt.  I need to do the plotting and planning I was talking about before, but ... it's ... well, let's just say that I can't do it alone.

Anyway, I'm still ... here.  Mostly.  Thanks for sticking around.  I don't know how much longer I'll BE here, but while I am, I appreciate your continued support.  You've all been so wonderful, and I can't thank you enough.

God bless you, gang.  We're praying for you.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: random thoughts, writing, blogging

Once Again, the Traffic Whore is Humbled

I just had a personal best day of page views on my WordPress account. I can't believe how the blogosphere has come to view my stuff today, and a fair number of the views are in Ghost Hunters. Looks like someone's reading it. I sure hope you're enjoying it, whoever you are.

The outpouring of support, encouragement, and yeah, love, dammit!, for my writing here and other places in cyberspace means a tremendous amount to me, everyone. Thank you all. Thank you all so much. I mean that. You've moved me to the bottom of my black, hard and unfeeling heart. You have. I'm so grateful.

Thank you.

When I get my Pulitzer Prize, I'll forget all of you and bask in the radiance of my own splendor, but thanks for letting me stand on your shoulders to make myself feel better today. (Just kidding. I won't just bask in my own splendor, I'll boast about it too.)

God bless you all, commenter and lurker alike. I'm really, really glad for you.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: blogging, random thoughts

A Busy Day on the Blogosphere

Well ... I can tell by my hit count the holidays are over and you're all back to your routines of reading and being read, sharing thoughts and catching up with fellow blogophiles.  (Blogizens?  Bloglodytes?)  It's nice to see you all again, and I hope your holiday season was happy, healthy, fun and safe, but most of all, richly blessed.

Those of you who never left already know I sure appreciated your company through the time.  It was fun to be so close and intimate with a few of you, and to spend quiet winter evenings, muffled by the snow, with you.  Sipping eggnog and brandy, Irish coffee and hot cocoa by the fireside in our comfy leather wingbacks, talking quietly in the deep stillness of the winter chill ... I can't think of any time more well-spent.

For those of you who are resolution-makers, what are they?  Have you written them down yet?  You should, you know; they become more real and less easily forgotten -- or forsaken -- when you do.  ;)

I just had my second-best day ever, in terms of page views, according my handy li'l stat counter here on WP's dashboard.  Thanks for stopping by, and for those of you indulging in the serial fiction -- I sure hope you like it.  It was a lot of fun to write, and I promise -- by all that is holy, I promise!! -- I'm going to continue working on a new one.  Maybe not the one I've started (because I've not been happy with its plot so far), but on something new, I promise.  Bear with me; the muse will return eventually.  She'd better ... the bitch.

Ahem.  Sorry.

So, anyway ... yes, I'm still sorely lacking in inspiration.  I've been trying to re-examine what I've plotted in my new story, and at the same time ask myself if that's the story I want to write now.  In the meanwhile, I've come to grips with the idea that I have something pressing on me now, something urgent, something I need to resolve really quickly.  It's urgent, it's critical and it's not going away.  It's not going well, either.  I have to take care of that issue first, before I move easily into fiction.  If I can get some things happening there, I can focus more fully on writing.  You know, relax ... create ... let the imaginative bowels move, if you will.  (Okay, that was yucky.  Sorry.)

Whatever turns out in these areas, I'm happy to see you all back.  For those who felt my last post was a little moody ... you're right.  It was.  I'm fighting depression along with a lot of pressure from life in general, but hey -- who's not?  I apologize, I wasn't trying to be a downer.  I hope you liked the prose, though.  It was as close as I may have ever come to capturing my emotional state in words.

Have fun going back to work, and we'll talk again soon.  I promise.

:)

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: life, blogging, random thoughts, writing

Dude, I'm Nevah Gonna Do It ...

Okay, so ... this guy is my hero.

Here's an "I'm up in the middle of the night and can't figure out why" list of 10 reasons why I want to be him:

1. He lives in New England.  I wanna live in New England, and not just to be nearer my beloved Patriots, either.  There's the soup factor, too, y'know.   And the rest of the seafood.  Mmm ... seafood.
2. He has a full beard, and people "respond to the natural grass."  Dude, I so know it.  I can't grow a full beard at gun point.  I can't do a lot of other things at gun point, either, but that's a big one.
3. He has the classic New England accent.  If I have to have an accent, at least let it be that one.  Jeez.  Or the deep south.  I thought I'd make an awesome redneck, but ... nah.  New England.  It rocks.
4. He's got the kick-ass sweatshirts.  Dude ... 'nuff said.
5. He's a business owner.  It's a car wash he runs with his brother, but still -- how awesome is it to never be laid off?  I wouldn't know.  But I bet it's awesome.
6. He's secure enough in his masculinity to admit that Tom Brady is the most attractive man on earth in his opinion,  who beats out Carson Palmer even when jaundiced.  I'm not ... yeah, I'm not there yet.  Sorry.
7. He says "dude" a lot.  Dude, that rules.  Just ask Raga.  Chicks like guys that say "dude" a lot.
8. He's got like an eight foot wingspan.  Just ask him.  That means he can bring down Devin Hester in a diner in less than 14 seconds.  And he thinks Peyton Manning looks like an aerobics instructor out there, waving his arms around.  "I'm not really changin' the play -- but this looks smaht an' cool, right?  Call my agent, I'm available for pahties."  Best.  Commercial.  Ever.
9. He's got a blog dedicated to the Patriots.  My wife has a football blog, and she did it up in Pats colors (with a gentle bit of guidance from some artist she's sleeping with), but it's not a Pats blog.  Pats bloggers rule -- and they get paid, too.  I saw a job opening on one of the job boards for it.  I was so tempted to apply, but knew I couldn't dedicate the time to it.  Dude.
10. He's on TV.  Again, 'nuff said, right?

So yeah.  He's my hero.  I wanna be Matty.

You go, dude.

Technorati Tags: football, blogging, Patriots, random thoughts

Merry Christmas to All!

I wanted to take a moment -- because I don't have anything else to do, and Christmas is about this sort of thing -- to tell all of you I hope you have a wonderfully blessed, happy and safe Christmas. May all the richest of blessings be poured out upon all of you, each and every one, and may your joy be increased and magnified greatly.

To Raga: God bless you and your family. You've come to mean so much to us, and we are so very grateful the network of digitized data packets routed over circuits and server farms somehow managed to bring you to us. If you ever decide to start a blog, be sure to let us know. We're going to bookmark it immediately, add it to our feed readers and Technorati favorites, pimp it all over our humble little corners of the blogosphere, and visit it every day to drive your hit count up. We love you, and I wish I could tell you what a gift you've been to me.

To Bryce: You've been a great friend, Bryce. I know we don't know each other too well, but I've really enjoyed the time we've spent exchanging comments, posts and emails. It's been a lot of fun to watch you hammering away at Oasis, and over the last few months I've realized how much fun I've had following along. Oh, and I think it would make a great Broadway musical. If Andrew Lloyd Webber can't do the writing, maybe you can get Clay Aiken to write it for you. He might even try to cover your mouth for you.

God bless you and your family. Your generosity has touched me, the strength you've shown has made me respect you as a person and not just a writer and blogger/webmaster/programmer, and you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Know that you are close to our hearts.

To Dwight Wannabe: Thanks for all the great information and fun stuff you provide to wannabes on your blog, Dwight. It's really nice to know that someone cares enough about the rest of us nobodys to try and help us get along and get through, even if it's just with Eff-Around Friday fun stuff. We appreciate what you do ... even if you scare my wife a little.

To Sherri: I'm not sure what to say to you, Sherri. You've grown into a close friend for LOML and I think you're pretty terrific too. You've got your own special challenges and life's little hang-ups haven't ignored you, but you've still managed to form a bond with my wife that is something really wonderful to watch. Thanks for extending that hand to her, and to me.

To Stranger: You've been heavy on our hearts and minds for a long time now, Stranger, and we want to tell you how much we admire you. You're an intelligent, articulate and caring young woman, you're together and strong, you're wonderful. We think the world of you, and have nothing but the utmost respect for you. We're so glad you're doing better and now have found the culprit throwing you for a loop. And, we want you to know you are everything we'd love to be if we ever grow up.

And, to anyone that reads this blog that's not listed, or hasn't commented, and is lurking quietly in the background (if there are any of you): Thank you too. You're always welcome to speak, if you want. We don't bite. And I hope you've enjoyed what you've seen so far, and God willing, will continue to see. It means a lot to me to know you're having enough fun to come back and read some more.

God bless you all, and have a very Merry Christmas. You've made our holiday season special in your own unique ways, and that is a wonderful gift. We all humbly thank you for it.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: random thoughts, blogging, life

Staring Contest

I stare at it, and it stares back at me.

It doesn't blink, doesn't flinch, doesn't twitch.  It just stares at me, taunting me, defying me, thumbing its electronic nose at me.

The room is darkened in the early darkness of the late autumn, the soft glow burning my retinas with its pale unconcern.  My fingers move to the keys, hovering, itching, ready to pound relentlessly, but nothing comes.  I rub my eyes with my fingertips, sighing deeply.  It's going to win again, something inside tells me.  It's going to win again, and I will have allowed another week to go by without anything remotely resembling a spark emanating from me.   I feel dry, suddenly tired, thirsty, hungry, antsy.  I drag my hands over my face and pause to stare at it again.

Not surprisingly, it's still blank, the cursor blinking steadily at me, flashing as if to double-dog dare me to put something on it.  I set my jaw, reposition my fingers ... and fall back into my uncomfortable chair again, trying to figure out why I can't put anything up there.

There is nothing inside me right now but worry.  There is nothing inside me right now but fear and the knowledge that yet another week is going to pass unproductively.  I can't stand it.  I turn away from it quickly, watching the absently running slasher movie rambling in the background.  It's not interesting and in a moment I spin around again.

There it is.  Blank, white, blinking ridicule.  I want to reach out and slap it, choke it, punch it.  I can't afford to replace it so I have to stare at it again, gritting my teeth in resentment.  I can't force anything out of my brain.  I wring it like a dishrag and it's bone dry right now.  I have nothing to say, nothing witty to pull from the memories of my disturbingly odd childhood.  I have nothing creative bursting through my skull the way that I did in August when I put together my novel over the course of 14 weeks.  I don't have the guts to use an idea or plot generator, and that feels cheap and beggarly to me anyway, like cheating.  I can't do anything except stare at that white, inexorable blankness.  I can't stand it, and I can't stand to be away from it.  If I try the guilt that I should be doing something, should be trying, should be working through the dry spell, consumes me.  When I try, this is the result.  I want something to spill out and I don't have anything to pour.  I'm empty right now.

It's not that I don't know why.  I do.  My circumstances have exerted such pressure on me that there's nothing I can do creatively.  Worry has consumed me and it's killed even the slightest inkling of anything else I may have had boiling in my skull recently.  I was excited when I finished my novel.  I was extremely excited, really.  I had grandiose ideas of a sequel, of carrying the story forward and doing a series of them.  I even thought I had an idea of what that sequel would be.  I wanted to access (and through the grace of a friend, did access) an outlining software to do the outline.  I discovered the joys of outlining as I progressed through my story.  I was outlining the individual segments (chapters? scenes?  whatever they were) before I wrote them.  It gave me a guideline to follow, a direction when things got a little harder to remember.  So I thought it was a cool thing to have available.  I thought maybe outlining the whole thing ahead of time would allow me the freedom to write along the guideline, never losing sight of the overall plot and still work in as many plot twists and things as I wanted.  So anyway, I had the outlining software, I thought I had an idea, and I thought I would write during this time.

I saw it coming.  I expected it.  This crisis isn't news to me.  I knew it was going to happen, and I faced it with hopeful optimism that maybe this time things wouldn't be as difficult as they were in the past.  So at first, I played the game.  I did the work I needed to do, thinking that any day, any moment, the crisis would end and my mind would be free to focus on the creation again.

But it dragged on.  One week.  Two weeks.  Nothing.

I didn't realize until now, though, that I never really had a chance.  I was so overwhelmed by what's happening I can't focus on anything right now.  I have too much going on.

That's the thought that I use to repel the staring whiteness in front of me.  That's the incantation I use to ward off those evil spirits rumbling and grumbling in my head, telling me that I'm too weak to put prose to screen, not good enough, not able to muster through this time of worry and anxiety.

Good writers write.  Weak writers let distractions drive them to blockage.

The thought frightens me a bit.  I stand up, stretching, trying to fend off the vampires of self-doubt with the crucifix of my own need to prioritize things, to allow myself to be focused on the immediate need first.  I've finished the one work, I tell myself.  I need distance from it to re-work it and edit it.  I need time away from it to be able to do it justice.  But that cloying, whispering voice, full of venom and spite hisses at me again, and I turn my head once more to stare at the daunting white screen of my monitor.

Good writers write.  Weak writers don't.  Which are you?

Which am I, indeed.

Technorati Tags: blogging, life, random thoughts, writing

Okay -- What Would YOU Like to See?

It goes without saying that I need to write another book.  In fact, I should be doing that already.  But ... I haven't started a new one yet.

Why?  I'm glad you asked.

I don't have any clue what to write about, that's why.

See, I have this weird thing that happens when I write.  I finish the thing I'm working on and I feel emptied out, dried up, and done.  I don't know why.  I focused a lot of energy and attention on Ghost Hunters and I'm happy with the first draft so far.  What that means, though, is that I didn't have a lot of time or energy to devote to coming up with my next story.

So here's my question to you, Blogosphere:

What would you like to see a story about?

I was thinking about another story with our three intrepid paranormal investigators.  I'm just not sure what kind of adventure they should have this time.  I don't want to be stereotypical.  I guess I could give them another story with ghosts, but ... meh.  I don't want it to become old hat, you know?  I could have them encounter some other otherworldly phenomenon or presence, but what?

See the problem?

Or should I just move on to something else altogether?  You know, a new story with new characters in a new setting with a new style?  Should I try my hand at another genre?  (I thought this was horror, by sweet, insightful Sherri has taught me that this story falls under fantasy, not horror.  I'm not sure whether or not I know how to write horror ... should I try that?)

Or should I make my next post a question-and-answer thing with the characters from the story?  You know, I'll set up a post, those who want to can leave questions targeted at one or more of the characters, and I'll answer some of them in character on the next blog post?  Would that be fun?  Boring?  Stupid?  How many of you would submit questions?  It would help me flesh out the characters, and what I say would become canon for the characters ... how's that?  And, if you have what I consider to be the best question, I'll use you as a character in the book ... but you have to sign your rights away and agree that anything I do to you is okay.  ;)

What do you think, blogophiles?  Sound off, let me know.  I can't wait to hear what you think!

I may do another software review tomorrow.  Hope to see you all then!

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: writing, blogging, random thoughts

This is One Grateful Traffic Whore

I want to take a minute to thank all of you who have visited this blog and took time from your busy lives to read my posts.  I know it's hard to make time to do that with the way most of us have things going on.  I'm very, very grateful.

After I posted my last "traffic whore" post, my views went through the roof.  I can't thank you all enough, whether someone else asked you to come or whether you found me through other means.  If you were sent here by some anonymous (to me, anyway) director of traffic, please thank them for me.  If you found you like what you see, I'm even more happy.  If you came on your own, and you enjoyed reading what you found, I'm so glad for that.  It makes me happy to know I could help you pass time in enjoyment.

I'd like to especially thank Raga6 for her timely comments, letting me know that the Ghost Hunters story was a way to escape the workaday life and have a good time.  I'm so glad you came, Raga, and I'm even more glad you commented.  Thank you for being a faithful reader.  If you have a blog, provide me with a link to it, Raga -- I'll be happy to plug it for you.

Thank you, Bryce, for all your kind words and encouragement during the process.  I'm really, really glad the 'Net brought us together.  I look forward every week to your new installments, and now that you've got a publishing cred, I guess you're not a wannabe anymore.  I really hope it goes well for you, brother.  Thanks, too, for all you did to help with the review of Text Tree.  It's a great piece of software and the one I'll be using to outline the next book I write.

Thanks also to Sherri.  You don't know how much it means to me to have a represented writer willing to read through my book and provide constructive criticism on how to improve it.  I don't think you know how much you've meant to me as a person, either; and I know I'm not alone in that.  We love you.

Thanks to Dwight Wannabe for publishing as much as he has on his own blog to help other wannabes move ahead and take steps toward not being wannabes anymore.  I've found a lot in there of value, bud, and I'm grateful that you do it.

But most of all, I want to thank my loving, kind, sweet, beautiful wife.  She wanted the story to continue from its very inception, even when I didn't plan on continuing it.  She asked me to keep writing it, to keep it going, and she provided the additional challenge of constantly trying to figure out where it was going.  She's an avid reader and a great critical thinker, and it was all I could do not to make it too easy for her to figure out.  We do that with movies all the time -- we don't do suspension of disbelief very well.  But, she managed for me.  Thanks, my love.  I can never express in words how grateful I am for you being there the whole time, through the whole thing.

And to all of you that read in anonymity, who "lurked" but came to see if the next installment was written, who came for the software reviews or just to see what I'd written if anything -- thank you all too.  I'm glad you stopped by, however briefly, and would like you all to know you're welcome here anytime.  All the time, actually.

Thanks, everyone.  Thank you all.  It's been so cool to watch that hit count climb.

Oh, and if any of you are editors or agents -- feel free to drop me a line.  I'd love to move up from the ranks of wannabe.  :)

God bless, all.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: Gratitude, writing, random thoughts

This is a Traffic Whore's Nightmare

Yes, I said "traffic whore."  Don't like it?  Quit while  you're ahead.  It's not going to get anymore pleasant.

So, here I am, working my ass off on a manuscript that, if I can just blow my own horn for a moment, is pretty dang good.  I pour it out for this stupid thing, right?  And about three times a week I'm publishing the fruits of my labor online for the ungrateful and undeserving masses on the Internet 2.0 to read and enjoy.

Mind you, I get some hits.  I have three loyal readers, as far as I can tell.  On the other hand, every once in a while I get huge spikes in traffic and the numbers get all discombobulated, leading me to believe that I've suddenly been "discovered" and soon will have major publishing houses throwing offers at me left and right.  Then things settle back down and I'm back to my more normal 10-12 hits per day, tapering to a lulling 3, or sometimes just 1.  When those days come, I know that the three hits are either my wife, or the three faithful readers aforementioned.

I took the advice of a Stranger and tried not to worry too much about traffic.  I figure, the writing was for me mostly.  Blogging is a hobby for me, not an obsession, and it certainly ain't payin' the bills. So, I figured, chillax, dude.  Settle.  Don't freak about the amount of traffic you get, or you're going to go nuts.  The Internets are a crazy group of peeps, and who knows what they want?

So, I looked into SEO and what that might do to assist me with driving traffic to my site, but learned quickly that, unless you're selling something, it's not worth the amount of effort and potential cost it takes.  It's not worth the amount of junk mail I'd get as a result of registering with all the teeny-tiny little search engines that don't charge for indexing your page, either.  So ... meh.

No problem.  I just frenetically watch my numbers fluctuate from week to week and day to day, and pull my hair out wondering what the hell these people want from me.

Then I come home from work -- back in the days when I had work -- and my wife says, "I got 43 hits on my page today!"

I beamed. I was proud as a proverbial peacock with my peahen.  (I have a different word I like to use in that spot, but LOML won't let me.  She says it offends her.  Pff.)  "Wow!" I respond as a supportive husband should, "that's great, love!  Was that your football page?"

See, a while back, I posted something about football and my blog got really good traffic.  I knew I couldn't do that all the time, though, because I have a full-time job and don't like the amount of research and effort that has to go into posting a real sports-column type of piece.  So I patted myself on the back and went about my business of writing the fiction piece my wife just wouldn't let die.

Sometime after that, my wife started making football picks on her blogs.  She'd pick which team she thought would win the week's games and why, and she had a lot of fun with it.  But it didn't drive her traffic up.  Later, she decided to dedicate one of her three blogs to the football picks and leave the others for non-sports related items, like this post.

So, anyway -- back to the story.  So I asked if it was her football blog that was so busy and she excitedly ejaculated -- not in a good way, either -- "NO!  It was my Wordpress page!"

I was stunned.  We looked at her numbers ... from several different sources.  All we found was a consistently high number of hits from all the site counters she has going.  (Yeah, she's a traffic whore too.)

I was flabbergasted, and thought maybe her new bud Sherri had done something to send people her way.  Or maybe it was the aforementioned Stranger, who's done that for me more than once.  But we couldn't determine the cause.  And laughing, we figured it would probably pass.

It didn't.

She's getting about 30-40 hits per day on her blog now.  Everyday.  Even on weekends.  From all over the world.  And given that her blog profiles all profess her Christianity, she's getting hits from places in the Muslim world too (today had Jordan among its listings).  None of them are commenting on the posts, but she's got one busy little blog now for someone that says she's not trying to get traffic and doesn't have anything interesting to say.  She also is as giddy as a spoiled li'l rich bitch just getting her first Ferrari on her sweet 16 about this, and her smile is as broad as my ass.

She's saying now that the word "wallpaper" is the search term drawing people to her site.  I don't even think she's ever used the word "wallpaper" on her blog.  What the hell would she write about wallpaper?  We don't have wallpaper in our home.  We don't do a lot of searching for Windows wallpaper.  We don't create Windows wallpaper.  We don't use wallpaper in any of our posts.

So WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT with that??

Meanwhile, I slave away, pouring heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears, spit, urine and a couple of other bodily fluids I won't mention here into the fiction work -- and it's work, bitches! -- and get my standard spikes of almost 30 hits every few days before settling back into my single-digit count again.

Wallpaper.  Fucking wallpaper.  Wallpaper wallpaper wallpaper!  I feel like Jan Brady, for God's sake.

Wallpaper.  Breasts.  Wallpaper.  Nude.   Porn.  SEX.  Hardcore.

There.  THAT oughtta get me some eff'ing hits.

-JDT-

Technorati Tags: wallpaper, pagehits, blogging

Has This Ever Happened to You? ...

You come to work.  You sit at your computer.  You do your morning computer thing, which maybe involves a couple of things not directly (or even indirectly) related to work/business.  You know, you read a couple of articles in the online local newspaper, or ESPN.com, or something like that.  Maybe you have a blog and you're looking for a poster to answer, or you've posted a comment on someone else's blog and you want to see if they responded.  Then it happens.

You launch the page, and bam!  The site has been blocked by your company IT department.

That's what I discovered yesterday when I got into work.  I went to try and check on someone I care a lot about yesterday, and found that I wasn't able to.  I mean, technically I can, it's not impossible, but it's a lot harder -- and a lot uglier -- than it was two days ago.

It's an interesting development, because the fact of the matter is, I'm being watched.  I don't know that, out of the couple of thousand people that work here, I'm being singled out, but it IS interesting to note that these sorts of sites -- which have been generically classified as "Personal and/or Social Networking Sites" by the web screening software -- are now blocked.  If you were collaborating with a colleague on a blog, you wouldn't be able to do so now unless it had a private domain name.

That's fine, it doesn't stop me from actually reaching the sites, but it does stop me from being able to see the pretty formatting and pictures.  It's like the early Internet now ... everyone's headers are blue, the only font is TNR, and the only fancy formatting allowed is bulleted lists.  It's bizarre.  It's weird to see my own blog with my custom header and this weird, not-very-well-formatted page.  But, I can still, if necessary, see/read the posts of my friends and respond to them.  For the moment, at least.

So, if I seem unresponsive, or don't seem to be as talkative as I used to, please understand that it's not because I don't like you anymore, it's because I can't respond as I used to (if at all) during business hours.  I'll try to figure a way to get a message to you somehow, but please don't take it personally if it has to wait until my business hours end, okay?

I can't seem to get a message through to my DeviantArt page at all, so I'll have to update those folks when I get a chance.

What about you?  Have you ever been screened out by the company "Big Brother" of sites you've grown accustomed to being able to visit?  Why do you think those sites have been blocked?  Is blogging at the workplace really that big of an issue and time killer?  Have things gone too far?  Is this company just being extreme?  Sound off, blogosphere ... I really want to hear what you think.

Pretty soon we won't be able to use the bathroom until the company-specified break times.  Things are gettin' bad, and I want to do something other than the corporate dance so desperately I can taste it.

Maybe I'll write books for a living instead.  What do you think?

Technorati Tags: random thoughts, work, blogging

Narrowing the Field ...

Well, I've shut down one of my blog sites.

Actually, it wasn't exclusively a blog site, but I wasn't going to do any social networking there, and as far as I could tell, it had a LONG way to go to catch up to MySpace or FaceBook.

Nevertheless, even though it wasn't my favorite site, I'm hesitant to delete it completely. So, I guess I'll leave the space in my control and have it available to check on in case it becomes more interesting later.

And despite that it's boring, I was having a hard time doing it. I don't know why, but surrendering web spaces is really, really hard for me. Something inside tells me that if I have more web sites, I'll get more visitors, and maybe then something good will happen to me with regard to my writing. And while I know that's patently untrue, I still wonder about doing things like that.

Still, it's nice to know I have one less blog to update. Since all four of them are exactly the same, it shouldn't be so emotionally stretching for me to do that. Each of my blogs has exactly the same content, and my Wikis all have the same content too, so what difference does it make? I think I was getting about 2 hits a day on it anyway.

Good riddance, I say. Now, if I can bring myself to do something with my LiveJournal space -- of which I'm not overly fond either -- I can actually start thinking about breaking things up a bit and focusing the topics and subjects.

Now that I pause to think about it, I can have the fiction stuff be all in one location -- well, one location and the Wikis, of course -- and let one blog be nothing but my journal. And the third? Hmm ... well, I seemed to get a lot of hits when I did a football blog. Maybe I can do that. My wife said my little piece read like a sports article by a real sports writer, but ... she's my wife.

Anyway, it's done, and for some reason, I feel as though I've dropped a little weight. That's patently untrue also, but it makes me feel better.

Technorati Tags: blogging, random thoughts